The Random Things

I heard this expression: Why do people call it a crush? Because that's how you feel when they don't feel the same way in return. What is it called when your crush likes you back? Imagination. Does it make any sense? For me, yes. Because I am crushed. I live my life in imagination.

It's funny how my mind can dig all of memories that I've been through with you when I'm about to sleep. When I'm supposed to shut my eyes, and rest my mind for awhile. But in other way, I feel so glad about that Those memories probably will be the only reminder that the happiness that I feel when I'm with you was real. Eventhough they're not mine now. And you're not there or here anymore. Oh you... The one that I've given my all to, why it has to be complicated when I'm with you? Whereas you can always stick to me til the end, to get through this all together. But apparently it's not what you want. In fact, you've never wanted me, and never will. Oh you... What you've done to me? Why am I so drowning into you? It's not like I've known you this whole time, but you did it too well. Sneaking into my mind and my heart, did horrible things to them, then just leave like that. Oh you... Why are you so heartless? Leavi...

I want to fall love in an old-fashioned way. Bertemu di sebuah stasiun kereta, duduk bersisian, mengobrol tentang banyak hal, lalu jatuh cinta. Aku ingin seperti Aubrey, yang bertemu dengan Dave setelah pesta kasual di halaman belakang rumah. Keduanya bicara tentang matahari di sore hari, mimpi, dan cita-cita. Satu malam yang meninggalkan kesan mendalam. Aku ingin seperti Kate, yang jatuh cinta setelah mendengarkan puisi yang dibacakan Rusty di kelas sastra. In long hallways, there are angry mobs of dwarves and rats and one single angel. Akukah malaikat yang kau maksud? Aku ingin seperti Mary, yang menghabiskan satu malam dengan Tim Lake di sebuah kencan buta dalam rungan gelap. Satu pertemuan yang akan mengantarkan semua orang pada ribuan pertemuan lainnya, seandainya saja mereka percaya. Tapi sepertinya tidak banyak orang menyukai cara yang kuno. Mengapa mereka memilih jalan yang rumit?

Look at my eyes, I whisper alone as I look at you from far away Just smile for me once, I can endure it just by seeing your face If you are standing at the end of my life, if I can get closer to you I can throw away everything and run to you Though I extend my hand, though I extend it with all my strength, I can’t reach you It seemed like I got closer so I called you with a fluttering heart But there’s no answer, I guess I can never reach you Every day changes so quickly and you are warmly and brightly shining I’ve never seen that turned back   Is curiosity also part of my greed? Since when did I start being with you? From the moment I opened my eyes and started to breathe I was with you every night, but now I can’t approach you Even if you tease me by saying this is foolish, I can’t turn this heart around I shout out loud and call you, I get angry but it’s no use I’m just one out of the many people that pass by you I’m not special to y...

Apa yang pertama kali terpikir oleh orang-orang ketika mendengar kata ‘pulang’? Mungkin sebagian berpikir tentang rumah dan sebagian lainnya berpikir tentang keluarga. Pada dasarnya, keduanya memang tujuan utama dari ‘pulang’. Namun dalam kamusku, ‘pulang’ tidak berarti demikian. ‘Pulang’ menurut versiku adalah hal yang paling ingin kuhindari, entah untuk apapun alasannya. Selama beberapa waktu lamanya aku masih memegang prinsip itu, sampai seseorang dari masa laluku berhasil mematahkannya, membuatku mengubah haluan. Aku pulang. Entah untuk dirinya, ataupun untuk keadaan. Tetapi aku pulang. “ Excuse me, ” Usik sebuah suara. Aku menoleh dan mendapati seseorang yang sedang berusaha mensejajarkan langkahnya denganku. “ I believe you left this notebook in coffee shop you just visited ,” ia mengulurkan sebuah buku catatan yang kukenal dengan baik. Aku tidak langsung menyambut uluran tangannya dan justru malah mengamatinya dengan seksama. Namun sepertinya tatapanku cukup men...

Ada saat dimana aku begitu merindukanmu sampai rasanya aku ingin meninggalkan duniaku hanya demi berlari mengejarmu yang semakin lama semakin sulit tergapai. Dan rindu itu begitu menyiksa, sampai rasanya aku ingin terbang hanya demi membiarkannya berlari bersama awan lalu terbawa angin.

It feels like I’ve been dreaming for a long time I’ve wandered and wandered around for a while As if we made a promise four seasons ago We’re standing face to face, just like that day Those beautiful stories that we wrote down together Those eternal promises that we prayed for at that time They’re all coming back to me now I don’t think my heart can take it I’ve even restrained myself at the thought of you How has your one year been? For a long time, I’ve been living, having forgotten you For a while, I thought I was doing fine However, I started to realize it as time passed by That I am nothing without you At that time, if only we had been a bit more mature If only we knew how we would be right now I have no confidence in overcoming these endless regrets So I’ve had to just repress them One year has passed like that Could your feelings perhaps be the same as mine? Will you give me another chance? I know now that we can never part ...